by Debbie Walker
As usual I am just curious. I am going to share these “Hilarious Things My Mother Taught Me…”. I am sure it was e-mailed to me quite some time ago and I printed it off for a future reference. And, yes Mom, I did recognize a couple of these and I think I have used a few myself!
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you are going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. “Because I said so, that’s why.” Yes Mom, I remember hearing that and I remember using it myself!
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.” (I love that one!)
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.” I would love to know if anyone was left out on that one!
7. My mother taught me about IRONY. “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.” Oh yes Mom, I remember that one. Ranks right up there with “I want to change my name, even just a day!”
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?”
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
I’m not giving this one a number but poor Mom. If she did it once she did it a hundred times. It seems that all tops for anyone big busted have always been very low cut. Mom found more safety pins to fix any tops I had!
Since our weather has really been the pits for a few days I want to share a poem I saw in the Kids version of The Old Farmer’s Almanac:
“When pigs carry sticks, The clouds will play tricks; When they lie in the mud, No fears of a flood.”
“If bees stay at home, rain will soon come; If they fly away, Fine will be the day.”
I had to add this: When having to paint trim (mirror, around windows, etc.) you can keep paint off the glass. You can dip a Q-tip in petroleum jelly and apply to the glass where it meets the frame. When paint is dry just wash the glass.
As usual I am just curious what your memories are. It’s time to share! Thank you for reading. Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org with questions or comments. Check out our web page!
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