I’m Just Curious: Yes or no! What’s the answer?

by Debbie Walker

Do you find yourself saying “yes” more than you really want to? Do you hear yourself saying yes but that little voice inside is trying to get you to say “No”?
One thing I think we need to get over is having been told we have to make everyone else happy, above ourselves. Did you ever wonder where that got started?

It has taken a long time for me to deal with this. I always wanted to make everyone happy. What good is it when you wind up stressed, maybe to the point of making yourself ill? Part of that may also bring about a feeling of resentment. Why? After all you had a choice, didn’t you? What was the real pressure in your situation?

Of course when people ask you for a favor, a loan, they need a ride, anything you can think of over the years, you have to have an answer. Or do you? Sometimes people know they are asking a lot from you. They may even preface their question with “I know this is a lot to ask but ….” Before you answer yes, give yourself a minute to think about it. Do you know why it might be good to consider saying “no”?

If there is an expense to you that you really can’t afford, will you consider yourself first? Vehicles run on gas, oil, tires and maintenance. Are you going to put yourself and your needs first?

Yes, you have a few bucks tucked away but you probably worked hard to do it. Why would you be willing to loan it to someone who may not understand you need that savings to feel secure?

I am far from being any kind of finance counselor, however, if you don’t say “no” because you might feel guilty or you’re afraid of upsetting your friend or family member, that resentment might move in. That is just not healthy.

Well, I have asked a few questions here and I have to admit I don’t have any real answers for you. This has been just to get us to think. There is a book that a wonderful friend of mine introduced me to years ago. The title is “Dance of Anger” and is written by Harriet Lerner. One line of description about the book is “anger may be a signal that we are doing more and giving more than comfortably do or give.” It is a great book. You can tell she wanted to get through to folks because it is written in everyday language, not textbook style.

I’m just curious what your thoughts are on the subject. Contact me at dwdaffy@yahoo.com sub line: Yes or No. Thanks for reading!