THE BEST VIEW: Character flaws
by Norma Best Boucher
Report card 1952, Kindergarten—Norma has a vivid imagination. Mrs. W.
“How’s school going, Norma?”
“Daddy, it’s only baby grade, and we only go in the morning.”
“I know, but kindergarten is a big deal. What do you do in school?
“We read a big book on a chair about Dick and Jane. We color. We sing. We put our heads on the tables when the teacher reads us a story. We have “Show and Tell,” and we roll in the dirt and swear.”
“You roll in the dirt and swear?”
“I don’t. I swing on the swings and go on the teeter totter, but the boys roll in the dirt and swear.”
“How do you know they swear?”
“The teacher said that they said bad words, and saying bad words is swearing.”
“I understand.”
“Daddy, why do boys roll in the dirt and swear?”
“Well, Norma, boys just do that. I guess it’s a character flaw.”
“What’s a character flaw?”
“A character flaw is something you do that you can’t help doing.”
“Does Sissy have a character flaw?”
“No.”
“Does Mama have a character flaw?”
“Definitely no.”
“Do you have a character flaw?”
“I guess I do.”
“What’s your character flaw?”
“I smoke cigarettes and I drink beer.”
“Don’t feel bad, Daddy. I have character flaws, too.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do. I drink beer and I swear.”
“You do not drink beer.”
“Yes. I do. I drink root beer, AND Mama gives it to me.”
“Norma, that’s not real beer,”
“Then why do they call it beer?”
“They just do, but it isn’t real beer. It’s soda”
“I swear.”
“I don’t believe that. Tell me how you swear.”
“Yesterday I called Sissy a “Brat.” Mama said that “Brat” is a bad word.”
“Your mother is right. You should not call your sister a “Brat.”
“Then I told Sissy that she was a brat and that I knew it and she knew it, but I’m not supposed to call her a brat, so I called her a “Stinkeroo.”
“What did your mother say about that?”
“Mama said that was a bad word, too.”
“Okay, Norma, I can see that we might have a teeny weeny flaw here. Not to worry. The question is ‘What are you going to do about it?'”
(Pause)
“Promise not to tell Mama?”
“I promise.”
“I’m thinking up a new name.”
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