SOLON & BEYOND: It doesn’t pay to get a swelled head

by Marilyn Rogers-Bull & Percy
grams29@tds.net
Solon, Maine 04979

It doesn’t work to get a swelled head, take it from one who knows! I just called Roland thinking I could ask him if he would use last week’s column that didn’t get printed, in this weeks paper? His answer was, “I never got it.” And this is why, I had stopped calling every week to make sure it had gone and he had received it! My head had gotten swelled thinking I was getting better with my using the computer. And so, I first want to thank Roland for not firing me, and my apologies to those of you who may like to read my mostly “Old” news, and would you please pray that my ability to use that wicked machine will finely improve.

Today, I’m going to use some quotes from a book that I have. This one is from Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.: “I may be old but I haven’t stopped growing yet.” Another one that might apply to those of you who are growing old: “O Lord, may this be true of me. As I age, may I also grow wiser in Your knowledge and wisdom, and live fully in Your Spirit. Amen.”

I’m going to take this advice from the book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. And it starts this way: “Let Others Be ‘Right’ Most of the Time. One of the most important questions you can ever ask yourself is, ‘Do I want to be ‘right,’ – or do I want to be happy?’ Many times, the two are mutually exclusive! Being right, defending our positions, takes an enormous amount of mental energy and often alienates us from the people in our lives. Needing to be right – or needing someone else to be wrong – encourages others to become defensive, and puts pressure on us to keep defending. Yet, many of us (me too, at times) spend a great deal of time and energy attempting to prove (or point out) that we are right – and/or others are wrong. Many people, consciously or unconsciously, believe that it’s somehow their job to show others how their positions, statements, and points of view are incorrect, and that in doing so, the person they are correcting is going to somehow appreciate it, or at least learn something.” Wrong!

Think about it. Have you ever been corrected by someone and said to the person who was trying to be right, “Thank you so much for showing me that I’m wrong and you’re right. Now I see it Boy, you’re great’! Or has anyone you know ever thanked you (or even agreed with you) when you corrected them, or made yourself “right” at their expense? Of course not.

The truth is, all of us hate to be corrected. We all want our positions to be respected and understood by others. Being listened to and heard is one of the greatest desires of the human heart. And those who learn to listen are the most loved and respected.