I’M JUST CURIOUS: Morals and manners

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by Debbie Walker

I have been watching a chain of events taking place. Have you noticed? It seems to me that we have been losing touch with those niceties. When I was working in the school system with first and second graders, that first day of school we had to teach academics but also had to begin teaching basic table manners. They caught on quickly. Kids learn good and not so good behavior at about the same time.

Okay, enough about kids. I have a book (of course) titled Manners and Morals of Victorian America, by Wayne Erbsen. I get a wicked chuckle from reading this stuff. The olden ways were pretty stiff but if we could have saved a bit of the manners and morals it might have been better.

We are entering the holiday activities time of the year. I am working for the theater group, and we are doing a play, Mistletoe Ridge, a Christmas comedy. It’s cute. I have recently read the manners book and there was information about how to behave in concerts, and table manners in group meals. Naturally I was interested. So…..

Beating the time with canes or feet is not a fashionable way to applaud at the play (It appears to be appropriate now) can indicate natural emotion and everything like feeling is now out of fashion. And of course, it is rude to whisper or talk during the performance and annoying to those of the audience around you.

Applause is by clapping hands, and not by stomping or kicking with the feet. (Still the proper thing).

There are quite a few of these DON’Ts, many more than I am printing here. These are geared for dining:

Shoveling food in is considered an atrocity, that in Europe you would be escorted out.

Solemn dullness and unsociability at meals is not acceptable.

Don’t tuck your napkin under your chin, nor spread it upon your breast. Bibs and tuckers are for the nursery.

Don’t fail to notice elderly people. (Even in a Native American family following old customs will seat their elders and serve them first.)

Don’t scold and snarl, as it is exceedingly ill bred to do so.

Don’t chew or fumble your toothpick in public. (Even restaurants give them to you until you are exiting.)

(THERE WERE MANY MORE!!)

Hold your tongue. Nothing is ruder than to converse whilst people are singing. If you don’t like what you are hearing, you should remove yourself lest you ruin it for others.

More Nevers. Told you there are many more than I am going to be able to print at this time.

Never fail to be punctual at the time appointed.

Never fail to give a polite answer to a civil question.

Never appear to notice a scar, deformity, or defect of anyone present.

Never fail to offer the easiest and best seat in the room to an invalid, an elderly person or a lady.

It is fun reading about the manners and morals of years ago. Comparing them to today gives us something to think about.

I’m just curious if you find these things as interesting as I do. If you have time to comment, you can find me at DebbieWalker@townline.org. Have a wonderful holiday season.

REVIEW POTPOURRI: Jimmy Carter

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Jimmy Carter

Peter Catesby Peter Cates

Jimmy Carter

The 39th President Jimmy Carter has achieved a few longevity records .

First, he is the oldest living one at 99.

Secondly, he has lived the longest of any President.

Thirdly, since his defeat for re-election in 1980 by Reagan, he has been out of office the longest.

Finally, he and his wife Rosalynn were married the longest of any presidential couple, lasting from 1946 to her death just a few hours ago (I am writing this Sunday evening, November 19, 2023), and surpassing by a few years that of George and Barbara Bush.

Novelist/journalist Norman Mailer wrote a fascinating New York Times magazine profile of Carter during his 1976 campaign and expressed awe at the candidate’s phenomenally encyclopedic memory, his grasp of the complexities of domestic and foreign problems and his above average, very focused interest in them (Mailer cited German novelist Thomas Mann’s statement- “Only the exhaustive is truly interesting.”).

Mailer also mentioned Carter’s younger brother Billy (1937-1988), a “good old boy” with a pleasant personality but not somebody to cross.

A photo of the newly-elected president in November 1976, that sticks in the memory is one of the two brothers and a few friends having beers at Billy’s gas station in their hometown of Plains, Georgia, and dressed in work shirts and blue jeans – one didn’t see the armies of secret service personnel surrounding the village.

For me, the most distinguished achievement of Jimmy Carter’s presidency was as a host and mediator at Camp David when former Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin negotiated a peace between the two countries, that pretty well ended in 1981 when Sadat was assassinated.

A setback in his administration was the Middle Eastern oil crisis in which gas prices went up, supplies became limited and long lines of cars resulted at gas pumps across the country.

With respect to our Pine Tree State, Carter appointed former Governor Kenneth Curtis as Ambassador to Canada and former Senator Edmund Muskie as Secretary of State, both men unfortunately serving terms of brief duration. He also came to Bangor for one of his town meetings and invited one of the questioners, an elementary school teacher, to bring her class to the White House for a visit with him and ten-year-old daughter Amy.

Information on Carter’s years in the White House abounds in libraries and on the Internet.

Prior to 1976, Jimmy Carter was a successful peanut farmer in Plains and was elected Governor of Georgia in 1971 for one term.

His post-presidential years have been distinguished by him with a nail apron and level building houses for Habitat for Humanity .

All three of his siblings died from pancreatic cancer in their 50s.

MY POINT OF VIEW: What brought Pilgrims to our shores and the first Thanksgiving

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by Gary Kennedy

The Mayflower traversed the Atlantic to Plymouth, Massachusetts, in 1620, led by William Bradford. The reason for the journey was the pursuit of religious freedom. Protestantism was in its infancy. William Bradford was an English Puritan Separatist originally from the West Riding of Yorkshire in northern England. Protestantism is a branch of Christianity that follows the theological tenets of the Protestant Reformation. Theology is the ordinary study of the nature of the divine, or more broadly, of religious belief. Back during these times there were so many hands on religion that I am surprised there is any sanity to it all; while just leaving the Crusades with Masonic influence, the Knights Templars and the then cruel Catholic Church. This was a time of land grabs and Godly exploration. The monks and friars had many very cruel priests in their flocks and dealt out extremely cruel punishments for any sort of disobedience.

The British and the Spanish ruled the seas during these times and they gobbled up all the known world in search of wealth and labor. All their acquisitions were placed in total subservience to their mother countries. People were totally inferior and had to give undivided religious obedience to their captors. This as we know will only last so long, and then the people will revolt; as they did in many areas of the world.

The cruelty of England brought the Pilgrims to our shores; and this began the story of the initial settlement here and the first Thanksgiving. We arrived in Plymouth, Massachusetts, in 1620, and would have perished if not for the Wampanoag Native people. They aided with our survival through the first winter, which took many of the settlers’ lives. After being taught how to plant using dried fish for fertilizer we had our first successful crop. There were 90 Wampanoag present for a feast of vegetables, turkey and fish and pudding for dessert. This is where the history of turkey began, as they were in abundance and easy to obtain during this time. Here in Maine they eventually became extirpated and were reintroduced in the 1980s. You never would have guessed that now. They are everywhere.

The complete history is a long and dark one and would take the entire newspaper to cover it all. Anyway, in 1620, 50 pilgrims and 90 Wampanoags celebrated. The feast lasted three days. I should mention only five women survived that first winter. Thanksgiving is celebrated both as a secular as well as a religious holiday. Many argue the story of this holiday and its insemination. One example would be the arrival of a Spanish fleet in 1565 to plant a cross to christen the new settlement of St. Augustine; 800 settlers shared a meal with the Native Timucuan people.

Probably the most notable of happenings would be that of Abraham Lincoln in 1863, at the height of the Civil War, in a proclamation entreating all Americans to ask God to “commend to his tender mercy all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or suffers in the lamentable civil strife” and to “heal the wounds of the nation”. Veterans and the official creation of Thanksgiving began on the last Thursday of November.

So this is just bits and pieces of how Thanksgiving first began. Turkey evolved in many variations to the feast that it is today on November 23, 2023. It’s now a time to give thanks to God for all that he gives and a time for family and friends to get together and enjoy their blessings together, in peace and harmony. We are going through some hard times currently, so it would be a good time to reflect on our blessings. Also, again we should never forget those who gave it all so that we could be and remain free.

God bless you and yours and have a happy and safe Thanksgiving.

FOR YOUR HEALTH: Take Charge of Tomorrow: Preventing Diabetes Health Problems

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(NAPSI)—November is National Diabetes Month, when communities across the country spread awareness about diabetes. 

Did you know that at least 1 in 10 Americans has diabetes? That’s 37 million adults and children.

Diabetes is a disease that occurs when your blood glucose, also called blood sugar, is too high. Diabetes can raise your risk of health problems such as heart attack, stroke, cancer and diseases that affect your kidneys, eyes, teeth or feet. The good news is that managing diabetes as early as possible after diagnosis may help you prevent these health problems.

“Managing diabetes is a daily responsibility that can make a huge impact on staying healthy and preventing complications down the road,” said Dr. Griffin P. Rodgers, director of the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK). “I encourage everyone with diabetes to work with their health care team to learn how they can best manage their condition to maintain an active life and delay or avoid diabetes-related problems.”

Here are tips to help you manage your diabetes today to prevent health problems. You can start by managing your diabetes ABCs, building healthy habits and working closely with your health care team.

Manage Your Diabetes ABCs

Managing your diabetes ABCs is an essential first step in preventing diabetes health problems. The diabetes ABCs are your:

• A1C blood glucose level.

• Blood pressure.

• Cholesterol.

Health care professionals give the A1C test to measure your average blood glucose level over the last three months. Some people with diabetes also use devices to track their blood glucose throughout the day and night.

Research shows that keeping your diabetes ABCs in a healthy range can help prevent blood vessel damage and health problems from diabetes. Ask your health care team what blood glucose, cholesterol and blood pressure levels are healthy for you.

Make Lifestyle Changes To Build Healthy Habits

You can manage your diabetes ABCs by building healthy habits and taking steps to:

• Plan healthy meals and snacks that are lower in calories, sugar, saturated fat and salt.

• Be physically active most days of the week.

• Reach or maintain a healthy weight.

• Stop smoking, vaping or using other tobacco products.

• Get enough sleep and take care of your mental health.

When planning meals, try to choose more fruits, nonstarchy vegetables, whole grains, lean protein foods, and low-fat or nonfat dairy products or dairy alternatives. Drink water instead of sugary drinks.

Walking is a simple way to be active. Invite a loved one or a friend to make walking a social activity. If you’re not active now or a health condition prevents you from being active, ask your health care professional about physical activities that are best for you.

Making lifestyle changes can be hard. You don’t have to do it all at once. Start slow and build healthier habits from there. Ask for help from your family, friends and health care team.

Work With Your Health Care Team

Managing diabetes takes a team. Your diabetes care team may include a:

• Primary care provider or diabetes specialist.

• Nurse.

• Diabetes educator or nutritionist.

• Dentist.

• Pharmacist.

• Mental health counselor.

• Specialist in health problems affecting your heart, kidneys, eyes or feet.

Your health care team may recommend medicines or devices to help manage your diabetes ABCs. Taking your medicines, even if you feel healthy, can help you prevent diabetes health problems. Talk with your health care team if you have trouble affording medicines or taking your medicines on time.

To learn more about preventing or delaying diabetes health problems this National Diabetes Month, visit the NIDDK website at www.niddk.nih.gov and follow on social media @NIDDKgov.

I’M JUST CURIOUS: More interesting ideas

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by Debbie Walker

At least I hope you find them interesting….

It’s not fun digging around in the dark when you realize you forgot to plug your cell phone into a charger. You might try putting a strip of Velcro on your charger to hold it in place where you can easily find it. Mine is on the head of my bed. It has saved me some time, don’t have to hunt anymore.

Did I tell you I am an assistant stage manager for a local play? One of my jobs is to help actors and actresses whenever I can. The other night one of the performers marked up their handbook with a highlighter for their parts. That was a no-no. They were concerned because they couldn’t erase it. Actually, it is pretty easy, got a lemon? Cut a lemon in half. Rub a Q-tip in the lemon juice. Wipe the highlighted sections and watch it disappear.

Ladies (and gentlemen) have you experienced a razor burn? Itchy, and painful red bumps. Do yourself a favor, use a cotton ball and apply witch hazel to your skin once dried from a shower. It will minimize inflammation, redness and fends off infections.

Would you like some help taking a sticky price tag or label off? Saturate a cotton ball with witch hazel, hold it on the sticker for 30 seconds. It will dissolve the bonding. (Now I know why my great-grandmother kept some in her house.)

I haven’t tried this yet, but I certainly intend to. Allergies leave my under eyes puffy. I read I should put my witch hazel in the freezer until chilled. Once chilled moisten cotton pads with the solution, placed over eyes for five minutes, ta-da! less puffy. If it tightens skin under the eyes, why wouldn’t it do away with face wrinkles?

Do you have a need to light a fire? To speed up the process place a few corks in a jar, add enough rubbing alcohol to cover, seal the jar and let soak. Next time you need to start a fire, drop soaked corks under the kindling. That will speed things up.

I am hoping you don’t mind if I, once again, print my little Christmas thought for little kiddos. I know you understand that I am an avid reader, and as such, I hope to see my little great-granddaughter enjoy reading, also. You can be absent Christmas morning but still be part of it. I have picked out two of the same story book. One I keep and one I give her. I pick a time with her mother that would be good to read to her on Facebook, face to face but miles and miles away, it’s a gift to us both.

I hope when it comes to gifts for your older, senior citizens, how about gift certificates. If they have a favorite store that they would never allow themselves to “Spend that kind of money on themselves.” There are also certificates to get her or him such as oil changes, car detailed, just put on your thinking cap.

I am just curious what things you might think of for gifts. If you have any questions or comments, I would love to hear them. Contact me at DebbieWalker@townline.org . Have a great week.

REVIEW POTPOURRI – Poet: Samuel French Morse; Pianist: Moriz Rosenthal

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Morse poems

Peter Catesby Peter Cates

Samuel French Morse

Poet Samuel French Morse (1916-1985) taught English at Northeastern University and summered in Hancock.

His A Poem About the Red Paint People is a rumination on a long lost Native-American tribe and can be read in its entirety in the anthology Maine Speaks.

Several lines evoke the sense of sorrow and wonder at a burial site excavation:

“Perhaps he gave the place a name,
Or left a mark the weather wore
As smooth as water long before
The Abenaki settled here.
But who they were and where they went
No Indian or white man knows,
Whose own untoward and bitter wars
Are shellheaps now and broken adze,
Not someone’s half-remembered lies.”

According to his bio details, Morse kept a garden in which he grew plants not usually found and regaled visitors with inexhaustible details on each one.

Moriz Rosenthal

Moriz Rosenthal

Polish pianist Moriz Rosenthal (1862-1946) achieved such progress as a youth that, after a tour of Romania, he was appointed the Romanian court pianist at the age of 14.

In 1878, Rosenthal began studying with legendary composer/pianist Franz Liszt (1811-1886) at Weimar and remained there as an assistant until Liszt’s death.

The pianist made his U.S. debut in Boston in 1888, taught piano at Phila­delphia’s Curtis Institute of Music from 1926-28 and set up his own private studio in 1939 in New York City where he lived the last seven years of his life.

I have two of the four 12-inch 78 records that comprise a Victor Red Seal album of Chopin pieces he recorded in 1935 (Victor M/DM-338) which can be heard via Internet Archive. It is well worth hearing for its combination of astounding technical virtuosity, an astonishing range of loud and soft dynamics and a heartfelt poetry and knack for conveying the beauty of Chopin’s notes, especially the selected two Nocturnes.

Rosenthal also had a scathing sarcasm. When the pianist heard Vladimir Horowitz thunder brilliantly through the opening of the Tchaikovsky 1st Piano Concerto, he remarked, “He is an Octavian, but not Caesar.”

Upon attending a recital of another legendary pianist Paderewski, Rosenthal commented, “Yes, he plays well, I suppose, but he’s no Paderewski.”

VETERANS CORNER: Let’s talk about D.I.C.

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by Gary Kennedy

I hope everyone had a very enjoyable Veterans weekend holiday. It’s always great to have three days off in a row to share time with family and friends. Some vets and I see each other every week. Often on Tuesday mornings we will meet in the rear section of the cafeteria and share information. Perhaps one day we will see you there. The coffee is not bad and the company is enjoyable and enlightening.

This week we talked about many topics but the one that drew the most attention was D.I.C.. Dependency and Indemnity Compensation is a VA benefit awarded to eligible VA deceased veterans, spouse, child or parent due to the loss of life of a Veteran who died in the line of duty or the survivor of a veteran who passed away from a service related injury or illness.

Some of the qualifications are you were married to the veteran for more than a year or had a child with the veteran. You would be eligible even if you remarried after age 55 or older. Evidence needs to be made available such as proof that the service member died on active duty or the service member died from the service connected illness or injury. If the veteran was totally disabled they must have had this rating 10 years before their death or five years immediately after military release or one year before their death if they were a former prisoner of war, who died after September 30, 1999. Totally disabling means veteran could not work. You will need to supply some evidence, military medical records, doctors reports, etc.

You should be able to show veteran died on active duty, training or died from service connected illness or injury or the veteran was eligible to receive VA compensation for a service connected disability rated at totally disabling for a certain period of time. If the veteran died from their service connected / aggravated condition and had Covid-19 then perhaps you can secure a connection because of the aggravation.

Another point I would make that isn’t showing up for veterans or dependents review: it has been my experience that you can be married to a veteran with less than 100-percent disability and still receive DIC. One trick that I use is one that isn’t usually sought after or mentioned and that is diabetes. If your loved one had diabetes when he / she passed it is quite possible that the diabetes had something to do with it. When you turn over the body of your loved one make sure you mention that your family member had diabetes so he can put that on the death certificate. I know that sounds a little inhuman but trust me, it can make the difference. This would be the same scenario for Covid.

Now I will try to explain the monetary rates. Benefits are possibly available for you, your children under 18 years of age or 23 if in college, also a parent may be eligible for this benefit. The same would be true of adopted children. The rate this year, 2023 is $1,562.74. You may also be eligible for other money depending on your loved ones Special Monthly Compensation awards. So, make sure you do the legwork to obtain all that you may be entitled. I think I am starting to sound like a social security ad.

Most VA staff are working for your best interest but it’s ultimately up to you to get what is intended and that which your veteran would have wanted for you. So, when this sad day occurs you need to remember what I have said, go to Social Security and report the passing, there is a small amount of money there as well. Then you will have also contacted Veteran Service Officer, (VSO) who will aid you through the process. There is also the possible burial benefit that VA can help you with.

I have given you only a brief as there is so much more in many cases. This will at least help with some of your questions and direct you on how to answer others. VA has a fine staff of V.S.O. officers who are caring, compassionate and really want to help you through your ordeal. I hope this has helped in some small way.

God bless and guide you through this traumatic time in your life. We are here for you.

SCORES & OUTDOORS: What is that funny-looking chicken?

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A Pearl Guinea Fowl, front, and White Guinea Fowl.

Roland D. Halleeby Roland D. Hallee

A little while back, I went to a friend’s house at the lake to help bring in his dock. But before we did that, he had to go to Hannaford to pick up his weekly issue of the Boston Sunday Globe – he wouldn’t read anything else. I stayed back to start getting things ready.

When he returned, he asked me about a flock of birds he had seen crossing the road that looked like fat, gray chickens. Immediately, the guinea fowl came to mind. Rather than have him describe the bird to me, I described it to him, and it was exactly what he had seen.

Guinea fowl, Numida meleagris, in our area are generally domestic stock, kind of like chickens and bantams. It is believed they are of West African origin. There are two common varieties, the Pearl and the White. The bird rarely weighs over 3-1/2 pounds, although they appear larger than this alive. The bones are quite small, and the carcass produces a relatively large amount of meat.

There is good demand for Guinea fowl in the large markets, and because of their wild game flavor the birds are served extensively in the larger hotels and higher priced restaurants.

The eggs are small, of dark color and fine flavor, and are apt to be laid in secluded places in the grass and weeds.

It is not easy to distinguish the sex of Guineas. The male has slightly larger head appendages and the female seldom screeches like the male. They are normally monogamous, mating for life. All guinea fowl are social, and typically hang out in small groups.

The Guinea fowl is a family of insect-eating, ground-nesting bird that resemble partridges, but with featherless heads. Most speciest have a dark gray or blackish plumage with dense white spots.

Guinea fowl have a long history of domestication, mainly involving the helmeted Guinea fowl. They eat lice, worms, ants, spiders, weedseeds and ticks while on the range.

They are a very noisy bird, and are said to be good for controlling the Lyme disease-bearing deer tick. They range well and eat lots of small things. In fact, if you keep bees, you don’t really want to keep guineas. They’ll stand by the hive and snap up the bees as they come out. Some have reported that since they started keeping guinea fowl, they have not seen yellow jacket hives in their fields.

You can reduce ticks and other insects by raising them. They are a little tricky to raise, but they are interesting, friendly and they eat bugs. Contrary to popular opinion, they are quite intelligent.

Guineas often lay their eggs in fields and hatch their young by themselves. Being native to dry areas of Africa, they are very susceptible to dampness during their first two weeks, and can die from following their mother through dewy grass. After two weeks of age, they are probably the hardiest of all domestic land fowl.

Guinea fowl live in the wild once you raise and release them.They are territorial so they will stay pretty much in one area.

Once you have raised them, their release can be tricky. If you release them all at one time, they may wander off forever. The best bet is to release one or two. They will hang near the others in the hutch. They hate to be alone. After dusk, you will find them roosting on the ground nearby. Capture them from the top so they can’t open their wings. This shouldn’t hurt them. Wear gloves as their claws and beaks are sharp. Put them back in the hutch and let another pair out the next day.

They are extremely vulnerable to hawks, cats and raccoons. They are most vulnerable when they are bedded down as a group at night. These birds cannot fly when their feathers are wet.

Do not confine male guineas with chickens if there are roosters in the same flock. Male guineas will run the roosters ragged and keep them from food and water. Females do not cause the same problems.

If you wish to raise Guinea fowl, there is much information on-line on that subject. Your local feed store will either sell keets (babies) or they will be able to tell you who does. You will need 15-20 to get started as they have a high mortality rate. They generally cost $3 – $5 each. There are benefits to raising these birds but there are some tricky steps along the way. Make sure you have done some homework, not to mention having the room (their range is usually 3 – 5 acres) before you begin to raise these wonderful birds.

During our many trips to Mexico, and the Caribbean, for that matter, my wife and I have noticed Guinea fowls are kept at all the resorts we have stayed at to control insects.

I have seen several Guinea fowl in the central Maine area, and maybe there should be more of them, considering the large population of deer ticks that have been reported lately.

Roland’s trivia question of the week:

In what year did the Boston Patriots become the New England Patriots?

Answer
1971.

FOR YOUR HEALTH: Supporting Other People’s Mental Health Changed My Own Life

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Helping others with mental health problems can be a way to help yourself, says author and mental health advocate J.D. Schramm.

by J.D. Schramm

(NAPSI)—The first time I heard about Crisis Text Line was when one of my students shared information about this mental health support service in one of my classes on strategic storytelling. I was doubtful that a text messaging service, provided entirely by trained volunteers, could make a difference in people’s lives. Yet, I was intrigued and curious. The first time I contacted Crisis Text Line, by texting 741741 from my iPhone, was Thanksgiving of 2019. I had just lost one of my best friends to a brain tumor. My husband and I had decided it was too costly for me to return home for the funeral. This is when my grief started to set in. I was truly struggling. My own depression, which I’d faced since my teens, was “‘nudging at me” again. Then, add in holiday pressures, bickering over the trivial with my family, and trying to keep the kids engaged and off their devices — I was at the end of my rope that day. Without anybody else in the house knowing, I reached out and a complete stranger helped me to a place of calm. It was all I needed at that moment. I felt sheepish “taking up their time” when others had more pressing problems. The volunteer assured me that my needs mattered too.

A few times in the month that followed I reached out again and it was a lifeline for me during the holidays, which were, for me, a time of stress, loss, and confusion. It was the jolt I needed to be present to those I loved and attend to my own mental health with methods I knew worked for me.

Another year passed; the year we all remember being locked inside due to COVID. With so much attention placed on the mental health crisis that accompanied the pandemic, my thoughts returned to Crisis Text Line and the difference they made for me during my time of need. Could I provide that same help to others?

I applied and was accepted to train as a volunteer crisis counselor. As a professor of communication for over 20 years, I was surprised that I had so much to learn.

All my work had been around the power of public speaking and here those gifts were not required. I resisted the first lesson on listening skills, thinking, “What is there to hear in a text conversation?” I was so very wrong; in fact, there was a great deal to hear, but not with my ears. I was exposed to an entirely new experience of communication through text messaging, and the power it held particularly for young people who’d grown up with this medium.

The harder part was for me to learn to listen and not offer advice from my years of experience. Instead, I learned to ask thoughtful questions, to help the texter realize patterns, and move from heated to calm. In the spring of 2021, I completed my training and overcame my own feelings of inadequacy and fear. I became the stranger at the other end of the conversation and started to see how I too could be helpful to others.

Now, I’ve come full circle from that moment when I first dialed 741741. Most Friday nights, after my kids are in bed, I log on and take a four-to-six-hour shift of texting with strangers at their time of greatest need. Last month, I completed my 500th conversation on the platform. While I believe I’ve helped others, what I’m most clear about is how volunteering in this way has changed me. I listen better. I am slower to offer advice and look instead for ways to help others find their solution. I now know a ton about resources on a vast array of mental health topics, but I offer those only when it seems right. What people need most is empathy, my presence and connection, not my experience or wisdom.

Admittedly, I was doubtful when my student first shared about the power of text message exchanges between strangers to reduce depression, anxiety and loneliness. Now, I am convinced that text messages can, and do, make a difference one conversation at a time. It’s humbling to admit I was wrong but encouraging to see week after week how much text messages help. Ironically the same device that has the power to sometimes isolate us from others can also bring us together.

—Mr. Schramm is a mental health advocate, speaker, and writer. He serves on the faculty at USC’s Annenberg School of Communication and writes a regular newsletter, Communication Matters. His 2011 TED Talk, Break the Silence for Suicide Attempt Survivors, has been viewed over 2 million times. He and his husband, Rev. Ken Daigle, reside in Marin County with their three children.

I’M JUST CURIOUS: Catching up

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by Debbie Walker

So, I did go to the audition. Before the night was over, I decided I didn’t come close to the other actors with their college degrees in theater. They also needed an assistant to the stage manager, with the plan being once trained they would become The stage manager. Well, I am now the assistant to the stage manager, at least I am going to try it.

The play is called Mistletoe Ridge, and it is quite the little comedy. I know we have laughed enough at the auditions and the first practice. I can’t wait for the next meeting, that will be Tuesday! I will keep you to date and maybe even get a picture with everyone of the cast in their costumes.

My bedroom project is pretty much finished. I have the black and white material as blinds, and I made two shams with left over fabric. The black fabric I bought I used for a King bed skirt, but I cheated and bought two pillowcases (yes, they are black). Now that it is done, I am quite pleased with the room.

Poor Dave, the first couple of days he was not pleased with all the black, said it reminded him of a funeral home. Since he has now appreciated how much better he has been sleeping he’s quite pleased. Some things just take time.

It’s gotten to the time of year when I think of gingerbread. Gingerbread with whipped cream on top. Yummy! Did you know it has historical roots? Some of us now make gingerbread house and cookies. But long ago it landed in Europe with an Armenian monk who brought home a honey and spice cake to other monks in France, and it quickly became “food from Heaven”. Typical medieval recipes for gingerbread include no ginger. It once was a treat only for the elite.

I read something in Woman’s World magazine from October. I learned you can spray a wreath with hairspray to help it last. It also mentioned putting petroleum jelly to boost the life of your jack’o lantern. I’m sorry it’s not much help this year but you’ll have it for next year’s pumpkin.

Do you have a single glove or mitten? Don’t throw them. You can use them to hold potpourri’ in. The article I read was recommending you fill the glove half with dry rice, then fill it with dried herbs. In the article I read it said to tie the glove closed with a ribbon. I might do the ribbon, but it will be sewed shut first. I don’t trust just a ribbon. One use is in your drawers for sachet. I will use lavender in mine and put it in my pillowcase to help sleep.

I like this one. How much do you “waste” on bathroom smellies? Maybe instead try an empty toilet paper tube. Paint it or decorate it to suit you. Put cotton balls in it. Then put some of your favorite smelly stuff on the cotton balls.

I’m just curious what new projects you have started. Contact me at DebbieWalker@townline.org. with questions or comments. Have a great week.