China and Vassalboro planning boards subcommittee continues work (April Fool’s story 2023)

by Mary Grow

China and Vassalboro planning board members have created a joint two-town subcommittee to draft a new ordinance that, with voters’ approval, would be identical in each town.

Its working title is “An Ordinance Prohibiting Any More Town Ordinances or Ordinance Amendments Until the Year 2050.”

China’s planning board has five members – there are supposed to be six, but one position has been vacant since last fall. Vassalboro’s has five, plus one alternate member.

After a friendly discussion, each board chose two members for the subcommittee, with the agreement that tie votes will be decided by a coin toss.

They further agreed that subcommittee members will not be named and, at risk of violating several state statutes, subcommittee meetings will not be publicized, even to the other board members.

The drastic plan was adopted because both boards’ members have spent months writing, debating and rewriting new or amended town ordinances.

China planners have worked on a commercial solar ordinance off and on for more than two years and still do not have a satisfactory draft. Their recent project has been a review of amendments to the section of the Land Development Code dealing with the Board of Appeals.

After months of long and lively meetings, Vassalboro board members recently forwarded a commercial solar ordinance to the select board, whose members will decide whether to present it to voters at the June town meeting. In addition, planners have repeatedly considered amendments to the town’s Marijuana Business Ordinance.

As a step toward providing background and direction for the subcommittee, all members of both boards replied, anonymously, to a questionnaire prepared by board chairmen:

• Without exception, board members welcome input from officials and residents as they work on ordinances. “We’re here because we volunteered, not because we think we know everything,” one member commented.
• However, all but two board members questioned the accuracy of some of the information they get. “You shouldn’t believe it just because you found it on the web” was another comment.
• All 11 board members consider a public hearing the proper forum to receive suggestions, and all 11 wish more residents would attend public hearings.
• All 11 welcome evidence submitted in letters and emails; comments were both positive and negative. One board member said the person submitting a written comment had more time to think about it; another said written comments cannot be debated as readily as those presented in an open forum.
• Board members unanimously think having the town’s attorney review a draft ordinance is essential. “Better a bill for services today than a lawsuit tomorrow,” one wrote.
  — Seven of the 11 board members said voters’ rejection of an ordinance would discourage them from trying to write or amend any other ordinances, however desirable. None would resign his or her board seat if an ordinance were rejected.
  — Despite voting to establish the new subcommittee, nine of the 11 disagreed with the statement that “[My town] has too many ordinances.” Two added comments to the effect that not everyone will avoid harmful actions without ordinances and laws; a third said, “No such thing as too much paperwork, even in the computer age.”

The new subcommittee is scheduled to begin meeting early in April, with the goal of presenting a draft ordinance to the respective planning boards by June. The anti-ordinance ordinance could appear on China’s and Vassalboro’s Nov. 7 local ballots.

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If you think this proposed ordinance is an excellent idea, The Town Line is sorry to disappoint you: you just read our annual April Fools Day story.

IF YOU BELIEVED THIS STORY, YOU ARE AN APRIL FOOL!