I’M JUST CURIOUS: Baby boomers’ symptoms of aging

by Debbie Walker

I found an interesting calendar at Nana Dee’s (Wandering Nana’s). You just never know what can be found there. This calendar is for no particular year, it’s more a desk entertainment, I am sure.

Anyway, Baby Boomer Blues is published by Great Quotations Publishing Company. I never really understood who or what was a Baby Boomer, at least now I know.

The definition:

• The generation born between 1945 and 1965.
• Most powerful demographic group in America.
• The most politically active.
• The hippest (and the most fun!)

In this calendar there are a few different categories: Symptoms of an Aging Baby Boomer, Baby Boomer Trivia, You Know You’re an Aging Baby Boomer When…., as well as a few more. We are going to start with Symptoms:

You know you’re an aging Baby Boomer when:

• Your fantasy is to have two men – one for washing and one for ironing (ought to have one for cooking, too.)
• You’re into Metal, i.e. Gold teeth, silver hair.
• You’re knees buckle but your belt doesn’t.
• You’ve quit smokin’, drinkin’ and carousin’ and you still don’t feel that good.
• You go to the mall for exercise.
• Your conscience doesn’t keep you from doing things, just enjoying them.
• You wear tank tops as underwear.
• You are too old for the Peace Corps but too young for Social Security.
• You hope you don’t look as old as you feel.
• You don’t mind kissing your kids goodnight, but its hard to wait up for them.
• You buy a sports car for the mileage.
• The president of the United States is younger than you.
• You’d live in sin but there’s no closet space.
• Your favorite night spot is on the couch, in front of the TV.
• You don’t care where your spouse goes, just so you don’t have to go with them.

There are many more, but I want to give you examples of all categories in the next few weeks, when appropriate.

Baby Boomer Proverbs:

• The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair.
• Be true to your teeth or your teeth will be false to you.
• When the body is submerged in water, the phone will ring.
• Exercise daily. Eat wisely. Die anyway.
• A clear conscience is often a sign of a poor memory.
• Tell your boss what you think of him and the truth will set you free.
• There are few problems in life that wouldn’t be eased by the proper application of explosives.
• You can be sincere and still be stupid.
• You have to live life to love life, and you have to love life to live life. It’s a vicious circle.
• If you look like your passport picture you may be too sick to travel.
• It is better to be a coward for a minute than dead for the rest of your life. – Irish proverb
• Easy street is a blind alley.
• Gravity isn’t easy, but it’s the law.
• The closest anyone comes to perfection is on a job application form.
• Tell the truth and run.

Okay, well that’s enough for now. I hope they brought a smile to your holiday stressed body. Find a way to relax, it will help get you through the next couple of weeks.