By Mothers Day this year (May 10) I will be a great-grandmother. It’s funny but it seems like yesterday I was waiting to become a grandmother in this same time period. Deana was pregnant and upset because her baby wasn’t due until after Mothers Day, but her husband would be celebrating his first Fathers Day that year.
Guess what! Babies don’t care about “due dates,” they come when they are ready. You guessed it. Mothers Day Deana had been a mother for about 24 hours. Tristin was born on May 9 that year.
And now it’s another Mothers Day and my daughter will be a grandmother this time. Tristin and Chris will be celebrating their child, Addison Grace, who is due May 1.
In the meantime, I found another book. This one is Humor for a Woman’s Heart, compiled by Sheri MacDonald. It has the chapter titled You Know It’s a Mothers Day When….
- A delivery man appears at your door with a dozen red roses and he’s not lost.
- Your children tell you how wonderful you are, and they are not setting you up for an allowance increase.
- You get served breakfast in bed (up ‘til now the only way for you to get breakfast in bed was to sleep with a Twinkie under your pillow).
- You get thanked for all the little things Mom’s do throughout the year like cooking, cleaning, helping with homework, saving the universe ….
- But most of all, you know it’s Mothers Day when your family tells you what a loving, kind, warm-hearted person you are, and no one brought home a new pet!
Another chapter I would like to share with you is 11 Tips to Surviving Swimsuit Shopping. It is fast approaching the time to bite the bullet and go buy a new bathing suit. Here are your tips:
- Begin fasting as soon as you set your shopping date.
- Select store based on dimness of their lighting.
- Get a pregnant friend to accompany you.
- Check for suits tagged with bust-enhancing, waist- nipping, thigh slimming features. Ask salesperson to point out section with “all of the above.”
- Tell yourself it’s your underwear that’s making the suit look so bulky.
- Tell yourself these are “trick mirrors.” You are really much slimmer in real life.
- Convince yourself that suits with built in shorts are not dorky. They are chic.
- Try on all 17 styles the store carries. head for a dimmer store.
- Remind yourself that round is the most aesthetically pleasing shape in nature.
- Practice sucking in your thighs.
- On your way home with the all-black, waist-nipping, thigh-trimming suit, celebrate by stopping at ye olde ice cream shoppe. Order the banana split. But skip the whipped cream. It is, after all bathing suit season.
Let me know what your thoughts or concerns are at DebbieWalker@townline.org.
You know me, I am just curious. Thanks for reading.
On a more serious note: We are all involved in this health concern, some more than others. Think of others and the help they might need. With people being asked to stay at home there will be more cases of depression. Again, think of others and how you can help.
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