I’M JUST CURIOUS: Daffinitions & technical terms

by Debbie Walker

You know I like comical things and I love words. When I came across this material in a Blum’s Farmer’s and Planter’s Almanac from 2018, I saved this page for future reference. I think this is ‘future enough’. I hope it brings you a chuckle or two.

Avoidable: what a bullfighter tries to do. (Avoid-a-bull)

Baloney: where some hemlines fall. (below-the-knee)

Bernadette: the act of torching a mortgage. (Burn-a-det)

Heroes: what a guy in a boat does. (hee-rows)

Paradox: two physicians. (par-a-docs)

Pharmacist: a helper on the farm. (farm-uh-sist)

Relief: what trees do in the spring. (Ree-leaf)

Rubberneck: what you do to relax your wife. (rub-’er-neck)

Seamstress: describes 200 lbs. in a size 2. (seam-stress)

Selfish: what the owner of a seafood store does. (sel-fish)

Subdued: a guy that works on a submarine. ((sub-dude)

TECH:

Log on: when you want to make the homestead warmer.

Log off: TIMBerrrrrrr

Mega Hertz: when you are not careful getting the firewood.

Laptop: where the cat sleeps.

Hard drive: maneuvering through those rocky fields on the northern range when there is snow on the ground.

Windows: what to shut when it’s cold outside.

Byte: what mosquitoes do.

Modem: what I did to the hay fields.

Keyboard: where the keys hang.

Mouse: critters that eat the grain in the barn.

I have room to go over odd uses for ordinary products. The Jello column was different so now I think we will do Colgate toothpaste, the plain old fashion one, nothing fancy added.

To start: Did you know an inch of Colgate to wash your hands with when you are handling fish, onions, or garlic to remove the smell. I never would have guessed it.

I haven’t tried it yet, but Joey Green had it on his list of hacks. Ink can be removed from cloth with Colgate Toothpaste. I have tried hairspray and that worked.

Colgate can be used for removing hair dye from skin. Wish I had known that when I was dying my hair. Not sorry that’s over!

Grass stains used to be an issue when we were growing up. Wish Mom had known about Colgate and grass stains. She might now have been so upset with us!

It’s no secret that I enjoy Joey Green’s books. Helpful and entertaining! He now has a monthly newsletter that you might want to check. Just try your search engine with his name and see what comes up. Enjoy!

Changing up a little: If you have a shedding pet, try this (maybe). If when you are brushing the pet looks wonderful, but you look like a shaggy critter. I read about a possible answer. Cut a pair of pantyhose into pieces just big enough to fit over the brush’s head, allowing the bristles to poke fully through the material. Fur will cling to pantyhose instead of your shirt. Then pull off pantyhose and put in trash. (Try this out on Piper, Mim)

The cup holder in my car is always nasty and hard to clean. I read today to put a silicone cupcake liner in it and it will be easy to keep clean. I’ll let you know.

One more thing before I finish. Some doctors are saying good ole’ soap and water will kill as many germs without the use of alcohol or other chemicals in the hand sanitizers. Just saying….

I’m just curious if you have any ideas you want to share. Contact me at DebbieWalker@townline.org with any comments or questions. Have a wonderful week.