by Debbie Walker
I guess by now you know that I will read most anything. I’m just curious about your interests (oops, you are reading this column!) It was said of a friend of mine that she would read toilet paper if it had words on it.
I do enjoy reading a lot of different subjects and tonight it has been ads for T-shirts with different sayings on them. So… the T-shirt sayings are pretty funny. The following ones came from a catalog called “Things You Never Knew”:
• I may have the right to remain silent… but I don’t have the ability.
• I try to take one day at a time but sometimes several days attack me all at once!
• Not sure if I washed the spider down the drain in my shower or if he took one look at me naked and then leaped willingly to his death!
• People who Tolerate me on a daily basis…they are the real heroes! (Yup Ken is my hero)
• Don’t let my motorcycle ride interfere with the safety of your phone call! (Please be careful about motorcycles)
• Don’t follow in my footsteps…I think I stepped in something!
• I should be ashamed of my behavior, let’s be clear here I’m not but I should be. (I have too much fun!)
• You know that little voice inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn’t? I should probably get one of those.
• Let’s stop sending money to other countries and let them hate us for free!
• I don’t do drugs and I don’t drink, at my age I can get the same effect by standing too fast!
• People should seriously stop expecting normal from me … we all know it’s never gonna happen! (I do think most of my friends and family have stopped expecting normal from me!)
• When is this “Old Enough to Know Better” supposed to kick in?
• Why is it I can remember the lyrics to my favorite song in high school 20 years later, BUT I can’t remember why I came to the kitchen? (that’s a daily happening thing around here.)
• IF you don’t have to give up your car because others drive drunk with theirs … Then why do you have to give up your gun because others commit crimes with theirs?
• Note to self…Wearing headphones doesn’t make my farts silent!!
• Have you hugged an idiot today? Me neither, come here.
• Respect Your Elders; they graduated school without the internet!
• I just did a week’s worth of Cardio after walking into a spider web!
• I thought growing old would take longer!
• I plan on living forever, so far so good!
• Give me one good reason to act my age!
• Common sense, so rare it’s kind of a superpower.
• Prayer is the best way to meet the Lord BUT messing with my daughter is faster!
There are so many more sayings, and this is just three pages of them! I hope they gave you a giggle or two or three. I’m just curious what your favorite would be! So… contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org sub: T-shirts.
Once again, thank you for reading.