by Debbie Walker

Good afternoon! Grab a cup of your choice and relax. In this column I am sharing a few “memories” I received from our readers. It’s a follow up to “It’s the Little things That Matter” column from the August 6 issue. I hope you enjoy these as much as I did. Hopefully, these will bring more memories of your own.

One of my readers sent me a copy of a eulogy her daughter wrote and presented at the grandfather’s funeral. I wish I could share the entire writing because it was beautiful and yet more proof that the memories of the ‘little’ things are so important. In the eulogy I saw no mention of how much money he spent on his grandkids, just activities they enjoyed. It is particularly important to recognize that she is proud of his character over his life and her grandparents having been married for 61 years. Thank you for sharing, Peg.

Another woman remembered some simple words that made a difference in her life as a mom. “If you run now you will run for the rest of your life.” Those quite simple words came the first time the Mom had let her toddler play outside with her cousin, and her little one fell and puckered up to cry. The new grandmother stood with the new mother and watched the incident, guess what. That new grandmother knew what she was talking about. So far, this wisdom has traveled down to what certainly will be this new fourth generation. Thank you, Alice.

My mother told me once, “If you don’t make a big deal out of it, they won’t.” And, oh my goodness, how true it was to me over the years of motherhood and nanahood. What you don’t realize at first is how this will help to keep all involved calmer over the years. Thank goodness, you realize eventually this wisdom will help to keep the drama down. No matter how scared you are if you force yourself to react calmly you can make it easier for those involved.

Yet another lady told me a story about her adult nephew. He asked her to go out with him one night, just the two of them and she did. She learned how important the little things are. He reminded her of her bringing pool toys with her when they were on a family camping weekend. She took these toys for the nephews and little niece and she had toys for each. He realized somewhere along the line that while they were having fun they were also learning skills and endurance. There was nothing fancy about the toys, it was the time spent that he remembered. He said they always knew they could go to her for fun. They both remember that wonderful evening.

Hope you enjoy these comments and when you are ready to send me yours, I will be right here.

Before I finish, I have to tell you a story. Have you been getting calls from people wanting to sell you extended warrantees for your car or possibly threats from “IRS” and you owing money and will be arrested that afternoon? Well, Nana Dee got a different one. She got the call from a Medicare/Medicaid representative telling her about her son Ray calling them and requesting a back brace this afternoon. She asked when he had called and was told it was last week. She said she didn’t realize he had been having back pain, she didn’t think he needed a back brace. Ready to start his speech she stopped and informed him that Ray had died five years ago. That ole boy was tripping all over his tongue!

I am just curious what you will send me next!! Contact me at DebbieWalker@townline.org. Thank you so much for reading and have a great week.

by Debbie Walker

I read an amazing theory on Facebook: a computer social program. I have no idea who is the author, but I am impressed with the words of wisdom. If you already saw this, I hope you will enjoy the premise of the theory again.

A man was giving his daughter the gift of an old “seen better days” car. His instruction was for her to take it to a car dealer to see what they would offer to purchase the car. She came back and told her dad they offered $1,000.

Next, he told her to take it to a pawn shop to see what their offer is. Well, that price was only $100.

Lastly, he told her to take the car to a car club meeting to see if there was any interest. Some people in the club offered $100,000 for it since it was an iconic car and sought after by many.

I am quoting the story now: “The father said to his daughter, ‘The right place values you the right way. If you are not valued, do not be angry, it means you are in the wrong place. Those who know your value are those who appreciate you. Never stay in a place where no one sees your value.’”

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we were all raised to be aware of our personal value? Are you aware of your value in your daily life? Do you know your value to your childhood family, friends, and teachers? Do you know your value to the family you are raising? Do your spouse and family know their value to you?

I’ll bet you never thought much about it even after reading the story but take a few minutes to think about this, what would your value be? What value do you give others?

None of this has anything to do with dollars and cents. Since I am retired the career/job doesn’t fit my life’s value. I am looking back at my employment years and I believe I placed too much value in that part of my life. It had a great deal to do with what I saw as my value of myself.

Raising my daughter, I am not sure either of us truly understood “value”. I think she looked at me as “something to survive”. We argued quite a bit. I think we both looked at each other more with the word “tolerance”!

Unfortunately, in my married life my husband suffered from depression most all his life. I doubt either of us valued the other. After too many years I did realize I was in the wrong place.

These days I am very aware of my wonderful friendships and family and how much we value each other. If you doubt your value, are there grandkids around? The first time this little chubby toddler came running towards me with arms flying wildly hollering “Nana” hug! Value, oh yeah!

I’m just curious if any of this has you changing your perception of value. It did me.

Contact me with any comments or questions at DebbieWalker@townline.org.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful week!

by Debbie Walker

Tonight I was thinking about all the little things in my life and how much they mean to me. Just little things. Some of the most enjoyable moments as a child were spent sitting on the floor by Grammie’s rocking chair with her running her crippled fingers softly through my hair and her talking about the “old days”. That is such a wonderful memory for me.

My daughter Deana brought her daughter, Tristin, to Maine a few years ago. One of the things she wanted to do was take Tristin to Belfast Bay. Deana wanted to show Tristin the little tidal pools left on the shoreline when the tide goes out and the little creatures sometimes left in the pools. I did that with Deana when she was maybe five or six years old and it turns out that it was an important memory she wanted to experience with her daughter. Just little things.

Tristin and Blake, my grandkids, were easy to have around. There were no expensive video games but we found all kinds of things to do. One day when they were visiting my neighbor, who had grown his own watermelons, gave me a call. He wanted to tell the kids he had a watermelon for them if they could get it from his house to mine. They must have been five and eight at the time. So they walked two houses up the street to Jim’s. Once up there, here was this huge watermelon. Tristin being the bigger one of the two thought she should lug it home. She couldn’t even pick it off the floor! Blake decided (five years old) that he could do it. Well he got it picked up and Jim caught him and the watermelon before they went over backwards. They finally figured out they could roll it home and they did. The two of them came down the street rolling that thing, laughing hysterically all the way. They got it to my house and up over the front steps and proceeded to roll it around inside. Well needless to say when we finally cut it open the thing was pretty much mush inside. I believe every year when we have bought our first watermelon they still love telling that story (26 and29 years old now). Such a simple pleasure.

I know kids whine and beg and plead for the newest, the latest and greatest whatevers but make sure you build in some simple, no frills, and no expense fun in their lives somewhere. I’ll guarantee you those will be the things they will remember.

I had a laugh when Blake brought over a new girlfriend for their Christmas with me and she saw first hand that it wasn’t exactly conventional. I probably have not told you yet about how I wrap their gifts in aluminum foil and it is usually stuff for their “future” lives. (When they moved out they already had all their kitchen needs even stuff for their own junk drawer!)

That evening they told the girlfriend about Nana’s jewelry boxes. The girlfriend loved ‘bling’ and thankfully she even liked my cheap stuff. Anyway they took her in my bath and introduced her to Nana’s toy box. Those kids used to stay busy for quite a while sorting and organizing my jewelry for me. It’s still a fond memory for them (me too!) and Tristin has been known to borrow a piece or two!

My daughter had “Movie Night” at their house. They would buy or rent a movie or movies, sleeping bags came out, popcorn was popped and they all got comfortable. They have been known to give up an outing with friends for movie night at home.

Seems that the toys, the games, the clothes, etc., are forgotten over the years but they always remember ‘the little things’.

I’m just curious what your memories of “the little things” are.

Contact me at DebbieWalker@townline.org with any questions or comments. Have a great week and thank you for reading.

by Debbie Walker

I have really enjoyed living in the south. Granted it is a bit too warm right now with our days topping off at about 97 degrees with the “feels like” 108 degrees. I don’t understand those figures. If it feels like 108, why isn’t it just 108?

I have had about enough of this ‘real world’ mess going on. You can get enough of that in just a few minutes on TV, so recently, when a friend passed on a new book to me, I decided to share some of it with you this week. The title is A Southern Belle Primer. It’s a book to have fun with, for me anyway. I hope you find it humorous as well.

A Southern Belle’s Ten Golden Rules:

1. Never serve pink lemonade at your Junior League committee meetings. It has Communist overtones. (Since I am not a Southern Belle I don’t understand this one either.)

2. Always wear white when you walk down the aisle (even if it’s for the third time)

3. Never wear white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day. The only exception, of course, is if you’re a bride. Bridesmaids, however, must never wear white shoes. Bridesmaids’ shoes should match the punch. (?)

4. It doesn’t matter if you marry a man who doesn’t know the difference between a shrimp fork and a pickle fork, you can always teach him. Just make sure he can afford to buy you both.

5. Never date your sorority sister’s ex-husband until at least three years after the divorce. You might need her to write your daughter a Kappa Kappa Gamma recommendation one day. Just remember it’s a lot easier to find a new man than it is to get your daughter into Kappa. (yeah, that is certainly one of my biggest concerns in life, how about you).

6. Never marry a man whose mother and grandmother owned silver plate instead of real silver. He’s not used to quality and he’ll try to cheat you on the divorce settlement. (Stay single, this is all too complicated!)

7. It’s never too soon to write a thank you note. Some belles take the notes and a pen with them to a party. In the middle of the evening they go into the ladies’ room and write a thank you describing how much they enjoyed the dinner (naming specific items). They then put the note in the mailbox as they leave. The hostess receives it first thing in the morning. Sure, this is compulsive, but you’re going to have to be compulsive if you want to become president of Junior League. (I looked up this Junior League thing on the internet and I will bet you becoming president of the United States is an easier process than becoming a League President!) (Yes, there really is such a thing as Junior League, a community service organization)

8. Never show off your bosom before evening and never wear an ankle bracelet before anything. Girls who wear ankle bracelets usually wind up twirling batons. There has never been a baton twirler who became Miss America and there’s certainly never been a baton twirler in Junior League. (so, I bet a tattoo is out of the question?)

9. Never chew gum in public and never smoke on the street.

10. Buy low, sell high.

The name of the book is A Southern Belle Primer, Or Why Princess Margaret Will Never Be A Kappa Kappa Gamma by Maryln Schwartz, just in case you want to study up on this stuff. Good Luck

I’m just curious if you remember the movie The Stepford Wives. Maybe those ladies would fit the criteria. What do you think? Contact me with questions or comments at DebbieWalker@townline.org.

Have a great week.

by Debbie Walker

As the title says this column is connected to last week’s test, it has the little quiz and the rhyme: St. Ives Travelers. Shortly you will read the answer but first the following was printed in the Weekly Magazine in Sept. 1779:

Why the deuce do you give yourselves so much vexation,
And puzzle your brains with long calculation,
Of the number of cats, with their kittens and sacks,
As you seem to suppose? – Don’t you see the cunning,
Old Querist went only? – the rest were all coming,
But grant the wives went, too, – as sure’s they were married,
Eight only could go – for the rest were all carried.

The answer:

The answer as well as the rest of the rhyme I found on Wikipedia. The answers are left to your interpretation, however the way I read it was:

The last line of “How many were going to St. Ives?” On the first line of the rhyming “As I was going ” and the next says, “I met ….”. To me that means only one was going to St. Ives. According to Wikipedia if you calculated all the numbers it would total 2,802. “You can find all of this on the internet on the Wikipedia website.”

Uses for Murphy’s Oil Soap

Insect repellent: combine lemon juice, vegetable oil, Murphy’s Oil Soap and water – put in spray bottle. Spray any area – around windows and doors.

Leather Cleaner: Put small amounts on dry cloth and wipe away dust and marks from leather.

Banister Cleaner: They can get very sticky, Clean that with Murphy’s oil soap.

Shines laminate floors: ½ cup Murphy’s, two gallons warm water. For bucket and mop use.

Permanent Marker Remover: removes marks on dry erase board.

All Purpose Cleaner: essential oils, two cups of warm water, a bowl and two tablespoons Murphy oil, mix well and put in spray bottle or just wipe surfaces straight from the bowl.

Sink Cleaner: wash away grease in your sink. Dry with clean cloth. Pour small amount of Murphy’s on a dry rag and wipe entire sink.

Bathroom cleaner: Mix soap with water – clean walls, sinks, shower and floor.

Remove grime from Hardwood finishes: Mix equal parts of Murphy’s and paint thinner to remove a thin layer of surface. Apply with a sponge, then wipe away with a sponge. Wipe away residues with a dry rag.

Clean and polish bridles and saddles. Also used to clean black-powder weapons.

Just a little history: Murphy’s Oil Soap recipe was brought to this country by a German immigrant. Murphy’s Oil Soap was run by the Murphy’s for 80 years when they sold to Colgate.

I just came across these little tidbits of information and decided to add them to today’s collections of writing, hope you don’t mind. It may be a subject you have discussed. Hope you enjoy the following:

When you are grocery shopping this article in Women’s World’s June issue may be of help to you, too. Have you ever wondered about those “Best if used by xx/xx/xx” dates on your groceries? Mom told me for years of her buying dented can foods that she did not go by the “Best if used by——” date. She looked for cans that bulged. If they did, she wouldn’t buy. The bulge is a warning, a sign of a bacterial problem. Of course, opening the can, the smell, the texture will tell the story for you. In the article they talked about eating things four years after the date. Wish Mom was still here to talk this over with.

I’m just curious about questions you might have. Let me know. Contact me with questions or comments at DebbieWalker@townline.org. Have a great week!