by Debbie Walker

Sometimes I find things on the internet that just really tickle me. The words I am passing on to you today were in an e-mail sent to me by one of my buddies. I know he didn’t come up with all this wisdom and there is nothing else that tells me about the original author. Enjoy:

1. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of murdered? Did you ever think of something like this? My son-in-law Todd could probably come up with some good ones. He has a head for this stuff. It has me curious now!
2. Why does a round pizza come in a square box? It probably boils down to dollars and/or cents (sense).
3. Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours? Babies schedule or menopause that had me up in the bathroom every two hours!
4. Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural? Two cups on a bra and one panty in panties. Go figure! I think it’s funny that most bras are designed to help you look more natural! How about that one Madonna used to wear that would remind you of torpedoes.
5. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? I liked this one and I also like slightly burned toast and popcorn.
6. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Oh, that one is just disgusting!
7. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Who are the morality cops, “They” in ‘they say’?
8. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? I used to ask that a 100 years ago when I was a kid, it didn’t take a degree, it’s TV.
9. The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends… if they’re okay, then it’s you. Well, now I’m relieved, because when I think of my friends, we’re all in the same boat, just trying to figure out if it’s a row boat or motor boat!

Yeah, okay, so maybe these are really not wisdoms. They are just silly questions and answers. I hope you got a chuckle from these!!

I’m just curious about the questions you might have. Contact me at dwdaffy@yahoo.com, sub line: Wisdoms.

Written by Debbie Walker, of Burnham. She grew up in Burnham, spent 30 years in Central West Coast, Florida, and came back here a couple years ago.

The following Colby College students were named to the dean’s list for outstanding academic achievement during the fall semester of the 2016-17 year, in Waterville:

Celie Deagle, of Canaan, is a member of the class of 2017. She attended Skowhegan Area High School and is the daughter of Paul and Sharon Deagle, of Canaan.
Caitlin Farrington, of South China, is a member of the class of 2018. She attended Erskine Academy, in South China, and is the daughter of Neil and Doreen Farrington, of South China.

The following students have been named to the dean’s list at the University of Vermont, in Burlington Vermont:

Devin Beckim and Melissa Petersen, both of Augusta; Kayla Christopher, of Oakland; and Delaney Curran, of Skowhegan.

The Northern New England Chapter of SWANA (Solid Waste Association of North America) is announcing the availability of a scholarship for current undergraduates, graduate students, or high school seniors who have been accepted into an undergraduate program committed to a degree closely tied to Solid Waste Management, Environmental Science, Engineering or a related field of study.

The award is offered in remembrance of Steve Parker, a founding member of the SWANA Northern New England Chapter and long-term member of International Board of Directors. The scholarship is for $1,000 and is limited to students from Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont. Applicants do not have to be SWANA members; however, if the applicant has identified a SWANA family member (parent, grand-parent etc.) their application may be submitted for consideration for additional scholarship funding from the International Board of SWANA for up to $5,000.

Please mail completed application to Kevin Roche @ecomaine, 64 Blueberry Road, Portland ME 04102. Completed applications must be returned no later than March 8, 2017. For questions you may contact Kevin Roche or Denise Mungen at 207-523-3100 or email mungen@ecomaine.org.

A copy of the application can be found on our website at www.swanachapters.org/nne.